Is My Baby Really Sleeping? The Truth About Baby Sleep Cycles Uncovered!

One evening, I quietly tiptoed into my daughter’s room, only to find her eyes slightly open, limbs twitching, and her face making all sorts of expressions. I was Concerned —was she awake? Do I pick her up? But, as I stood there, unsure of what to do, I realized she was still fast asleep. It wasn’t until after i became a sleep consultant  that I learned this was normal—she was in a stage of sleep called "active sleep." It turns out, baby sleep can be a lot more complex than it seems!

Many parents, just like I was, are puzzled by these moments. We might assume our little ones are awake when, in fact, they’re cycling through sleep stages. Let’s break down what’s happening during these cycles, so you can better understand your baby’s sleep patterns and avoid unnecessary interruptions.

What is Active Sleep?

Active sleep, also known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, is a lighter sleep stage where babies are more physically active. During this time, you might notice:

• Eye movements under their eyelids.
• Twitching or jerking of the arms and legs.
• Changes in breathing patterns, like rapid or irregular breaths.
• Facial expressions, from frowns to tiny smiles.
• Eyes open slightly 

It can look like your baby is on the verge of waking up, but they’re still deeply asleep! Active sleep is crucial because it’s linked to brain development, especially during the early months. 

Babies spend a significant portion (about 50%) of their sleep in this stage, helping their brain process new experiences.

What is Quiet Sleep?

In contrast, quiet sleep is the deeper, more restful stage. During quiet sleep, babies:

• Breathe slowly and steadily.
• Lie completely still with little movement.
• Appear relaxed, with no facial expressions or muscle twitches.

This stage allows for physical restoration, helping their bodies grow and develop. While babies move between active and quiet sleep cycles throughout the night, quiet sleep is when they truly get that deep rest.

The Importance of Implementing a Pause

Here’s where many parents, myself included, get tripped up. When we see our babies in active sleep, we assume they’re waking up and rush in to comfort them. But intervening too soon might actually disturb their natural sleep cycle, causing them to wake up fully.

The solution?

 Pause. If you notice your baby moving around or making noises, resist the urge to jump in right away. Give them a moment—what looks like waking might just be part of their sleep cycle. By waiting, you allow your baby to transition between sleep stages without disturbance. Over time, this practice helps build healthier sleep habits.

How Can You Tell if a Baby is Awake or in Active Sleep?

It can be tricky to tell whether your baby is truly awake or just in active sleep, especially since they may twitch, make noises, or move around during this stage. The best cue to look for is their eyes—if your baby’s eyes are wide open for 20-30 seconds or more, they are likely awake. However, in a dark room, this may not be easy to check without disrupting their sleep.

In such cases, it’s better to listen for signs that your baby is actively signaling you—crying or making persistent noises. If everything remains calm and quiet, there’s a good chance they’ll fall back asleep on their own, so give it a moment before intervening.

When Should You Be Concerned?

If you find that your baby is waking frequently throughout the night and struggles to go back to sleep, this may indicate a deeper sleep issue. Consistently disrupted sleep can affect both your baby’s mood and development. In these cases, reaching out to a pediatric sleep consultant can make a world of difference. They can help assess your baby’s unique sleep patterns and create a plan tailored to their needs.

Understanding Baby Sleep Cycles Leads to Better Rest

Understanding that babies have different stages of sleep can take a lot of the mystery out of those seemingly restless nights. With a bit of patience, and learning to pause rather than intervene, you’ll be supporting your baby’s natural sleep rhythms—and maybe even getting a few more hours of rest yourself!

If disrupted sleep becomes a common occurrence, or you're still unsure how to navigate your baby’s sleep patterns, don't hesitate to consult a pediatric sleep expert. We’re here to help!

If you're ready to take control of your newborn’s sleep and your own well-being, I’m here to help you do just that. With over 400 families across 14 countries trusting my expertise, I’ve earned a reputation as an internationally renowned pediatric sleep consultant. My holistic, evidence-based methods are gentle and adaptable to your family’s unique needs—whether you’re co-sleeping or crib-sleeping, breastfeeding or formula-feeding. Don’t wait until sleep deprivation takes a toll—join my Newborn Sleep Made Easy Masterclass and let me help you give your baby the restful nights they deserve, while you reclaim your own. Sign up today and let’s set the foundation for healthy sleep habits that will benefit your little one for years to come!