Podcast: Co-Sleeping with baby - Benefits, Risks, Weaning Night Feeds and Stopping

It's been a long time dream to have my own podcast where I can freely educate about parenting issues dear to my heart without being limited by the 30 second watch time of Instagram reels. And I'm so glad that I have launched the Modern Indian Parent Podcast to do exactly that. 

We release episode every Friday on various parenting topics and offer a modern age take on them to bust myths and guide young parents to own their modern parenting choices.

You can find and subscribe to the podcast on Youtube and Spotify 

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Episode 8 - Co-Sleeping with baby - Benefits, Risks, Weaning Night Feeds and Stopping 

Introduction:

In this episode, Rinie and Sanchita discuss all about cosleeping - the benefits, risks and how to cosleep safely. Rinie also offers a 4 C method to wean night feeds gently and some tips on how to transition the child to their own sleep space.

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Prefer to read? Here is the full transcript of the episode:

Rinie (00:11)

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Modern Indian Parent podcast. I am Rinie Gupta. I'm a pediatric sleep consultant.

Sanchita (00:18)

And I am Sanchita Daswani, a pediatric nutritionist, and every week we bring you episodes where we are redefining parenting in Indian families.

Rinie (00:26)

So let's bust some myths and own our modern parenting choices even if Nani and Dadi don't agree with them.

Today we want to talk about a topic that you may seem like you know everything about but there are still so many nuances that we need to explore and that is co- sleeping.

And this is something that I've been wanting to talk about on this channel for a very long time now because I'm a sleep consultant and majority of the time when I'm helping families, a big issue that they bring out to me is that they are not able to get any sleep because they are co -sleeping with their child.

So in this episode, we're going to discuss the pros of co -sleeping, but also the drawbacks of it. And then I will walk you through many tips in which you can solve your child's sleep issues while co -sleeping, as well as if you're ready to end that co -sleeping relationship. How is it that you can transition your child very gently to their own sleep space.

Sanchita (01:23)

This topic really is so interesting. I'm actually excited to learn more because I know about it, but it was a very kind of vague general thing. I'm trying to think, did I co -sleep, did I not? So I want to get to the basics really with you first. What is co -sleeping exactly?

What is Cosleeping?

Rinie (01:40)

So if look at the literature, co -sleeping can be defined as both bed sharing, which is that means that your child and the parent or the caregiver are sleeping on the same bed. But even if your child is sleeping in a crib or in a toddler bed, but in your room, that is they are room sharing with you, that is also considered a form of co -sleeping.

But I'll tell you for the purpose of this episode, we're going to call co -sleeping the same thing as bed sharing because in Indian families, that is the most common form of co -sleeping. Actually there was a study done in Bangalore with over 1000 families in which 88 % of the families between the age of 0 to 18 months, the babies that were in that age group were bed sharing with the families.

Sanchita (02:25)

Wow. you know, looking back and thinking about it in terms of like, I'm from the Caribbean, right? So growing up, we had a very different kind of lifestyle perspective on a lot of things. But now I live in Hong Kong and so close to India as well. So I've noticed that for a lot of things, even when it comes to sleep training, co -sleeping, even baby led meaning versus spoon feeding, there seems to be a bit of a difference between the two worlds So do you feel there's a difference in terms of co -sleeping and how people view it on different parts of the world?

Rinie (03:02)

Most definitely. So the thing with co -sleeping is that as I mentioned earlier, it's really a cultural norm in India as well as the other Asian countries, but more specifically in India, where, as I've just mentioned, 88 % and that could be up to 90 % of the families are actually bed sharing with their children. When you compare the statistic alone with the families in the US, there was another study done which showed that only 11 % of the families bed share with their babies.

 

Who's right, who's wrong, there is no way to decide that because each approach has its own advantages, has its own drawbacks. We will talk about this later into this episode again but one thing I do want to highlight is that nowadays on Instagram especially when you're scrolling you will see a lot of Western influencers and they're talking about the benefits of co -sleeping, they're raving about it that like the only way they were able to get any sleep was by co -sleeping, they could avoid sleep training by co -sleeping and they're just really big fans of co -sleeping. that's great. And I think I'm really glad that co -sleeping has worked out for them. But I think given the context of how few families co -sleep in Western countries, such as the US, I think they have this thing that where they want to be really loud about the benefits of co -sleeping, they can educate more people about it, how to co -sleep safely and all of that.

I think the reverse is true in India where majority of families are co -sleeping by default. sleep consultants or influencers whose babies are sleeping in the crib or who are sleep training, we are having to educate the Indian families about the other side that, if co -sleeping is not working out for you, there are other options available as well. Because believe me, in Indian families, if you choose not to co -sleep, you are judged for it. Like in the US, if you are criticized if you choose to co- sleep, here is the other way around.

And that happened with me because I'll tell you When I was pregnant and I was expecting my first baby, I was thinking about, where is my baby going to sleep? But that was such a straightforward quest answer for me because I've been told by my mother, by my cousins, you have to make the baby sleep on the bed with you. I said, okay. So I invested into this really extra large bed and I thought, my baby's gonna sleep with me and my husband's gonna be here as well. But then when my baby actually arrived, I realized that there are such noisy sleepers. They grunt, they move. And I am a very light sleeper.

Not to mention, I actually wasn't breastfeeding her. I was exclusively pumping. So. I had also read that if you're not breastfeeding then you should not be bed sharing with your baby because there is that risk of you not being aware of the movements or if you fall into a very deep sleep.

So all in all I was just very scared of bed sharing. So what I did was I just ditched the idea of that large family bed. Instead I got her a small crib, put it right next to my bed and Sanchita you would not believe the criticism I got for it from the relatives around me. They were like, how could you do that? And I'll just say it in Hindi. They'll just be like, you know, that's how they grow. That's how it's supposed to be.

And I felt so bad for it. But then I was just like, hey, that's what's working for me. Like, I don't want to bed share with my baby because I am scared shitless at night that I'm going to hurt her or my hand is going to go over her or something's going to happen. I just couldn't co -sleep with her. How was that experience for you, Sanchita Because you had twins.

Sanchita (06:35)

I remember for the twins when they were born, I just knew that, the first six months I had to have them in the room because I know that babies wake up a lot. So for me, it was like, OK, we're going to have a crib on because it's two. So we had a crib on each side of the bed. And I never even thought that they'd sleep on the bed. For me, it was always a crib. So they have their own space because I'm generally someone who's like, OK, everyone needs their space. They have their own area.

And we are going to just have them in the room till six months, because then by six months, they should be sleeping a good amount of time so we can move them to the other room. I don't think they ever actually slept in our bed itself.

I got a little bit of that commentary, but it wasn't like what you explained you went through. can't imagine hearing that. And I think today as modern Indian parents, we really are trying to do things that, it's not that what our parents did didn't make sense, But I think now as parents, we're really trying to educate ourselves a bit more and make more conscious decisions.

Rinie (07:32)

I think that's what it's about right like owning our parenting choices I went through this but anybody who's listening to this I want to give you the information to be able to make a different choice if you want to and once you have made that choice and also kind of be able to defend that choice to your family

Sanchita (07:48)

I want to talk to you a bit about the benefits of co -sleeping because when we look at it and the statistics that you mentioned to us, like 90 % of the population in India, they actually are co -sleeping with their baby. So there must be some advantages to it. What are the actual benefits of it?

Benefits of Cosleeping

Rinie (08:07)

There are a lot of benefits of bed sharing and nobody can ever deny that because it allows for better bonding with the baby, especially at night, especially if you're a parent who works outside of the home, then having that close physical proximity with the parent, with the baby at night, can be beneficial for both baby and the parent.

It helps to strengthen the breastfeeding relationship because a lot of babies do prefer to feed at night as well and many moms they are just like you know what it's okay as long as you're sleeping next to me you can help yourself to the breast and go back to sleep so it kind of strengthens and keeps up their milk supply

Of course the the main thing that they talk about why co -sleeping is great is because you kind of don't need to get up and soothe your baby studies have shown that while people are co -sleeping there might be more night wakings but those night wakings are much shorter because the parent or mother whether it's with the breast or whether it's by patting or shushing however it is they're able to resettle the babies much more quickly and then that is actually one of the primary reasons why people describe that like co -sleeping just saved me it helped me get the sleep that I needed it could be because of this big reason whether they are able to settle the baby quite quickly.

So these are the three big main advantages that I see off co -sleeping.

Sanchita (09:22)

I can see why a lot of Indian families do co -sleep. But then my question to you now is then in the US or in the Western side of the world, why are like 90 % of the families not doing it? There must be a very strong reason as well for them to have their kids in a crib or have them in a separate room.

Risk of cosleeping : Sudden Unexpected Infant Deaths

Rinie (09:43)

Of course, think one of the main things why in Western countries, co-sleeping is not recommended and they are very clear about it. know, whether it's the American Academy of Pediatrics, whether it's Red Nose Australia, And the main issue that they bring out is safety. And this could be like baffling for a lot of families in India because they'll just be like safety? If a baby is sleeping right next to the mother, how can safety be an issue? But in all honesty, it is.

So if you're bed sharing with your baby, there is a heightened risk of what we call sudden unexpected infant deaths and specifically under the category of accidental suffocation, which is something it is can be the most heartbreaking thing that can happen, but it has happened to families which has been documented all over the world where if you're bed sharing with the baby, it is quite possible that either, you could roll onto them or they could get accidentally suffocated by the bedding, is usually present on adult bed, right? You have pillows and blankets on any adult bed and they could accidentally suffocate because of that or they could fall off the bed and injure themselves or they could fall between crevices between the bed and the wall and that's where this could happen. So there are various scenarios in which, and very scary but very real scenarios which do pose a safety risk.

When it comes to bed sharing and because of these safety risks, a lot of Western countries are like, do not co -sleep. Like any advantage that you can derive from co -sleeping, it's not worth the risk that comes from bed sharing, you can room share, but don't bed share.

And when I'm advising families, but then they stay like, okay, fine. We understand that there is that safety concern, but how is it that we can make it safer? So I always tell them that do not co -sleep or bed share with your child under these five circumstances.

Avoid bedsharing for these 5 reasons

Five main things that I want you to just completely avoid bed sharing.

One, so baby was born prematurely, which is before the age of before the 36 week mark.

Secondly, they were born underweight.

Number three, any of the parent or any caregiver who is sharing the bed with the baby is a smoker because the nicotine in the smoke is known to impair the respiratory function of the baby. And it's not that you need to smoke in the room, even if there's lingering nicotine in your clothes or on you that can also affect the baby.

Number four if you are under the influence of alcohol or any drowsy medication or are at a point where you are so sleep deprived that you would just fall into extreme deep sleep and you will be very difficult to rouse.

So this is another condition and the last one and this is I'm going to tell you a very controversial one in Indian families is that the only people who should be bed sharing with your baby are the mother and the father and that's it. if the mother is breastfeeding then the baby is safest with her next to her. If she's not available then the dad can bed share with the baby but other caregivers such as grandmas, grandpas, nannies they should not be allowed to bed share with the child under the age of one year because the simple thing is that they are not tuned in and you know they're not wired to be conscious of every single movement that the baby makes and it is just not safe for the baby to sleep with them definitely do not let your child bed share with an another child because again other children they are like so active sleepers they are moving around there's a possibility that may actually end up hurting the baby at night. So these are the five circumstances in which I want you to completely avoid bed sharing.

Sanchita (13:35)

So can you explain why the first two are important because you said underweight and premature. So what how does that make their situation different.

Rinie (13:44)

Of course. Now it has been well studied that babies who are born underweight or who are born prematurely, they are carrying additional risk factors to SIDS. and also because they are definitely, you know, they're slightly weaker and, you know, they're smaller as well in size.

So that's another reason why we have to be extra extra careful around them. So you can have them right next to you, but have them in a crib in their own sleep space while you sleep on the bed. because the risk is much higher, you want to lower the risk of any form of mishap by not bed sharing.

Sanchita (14:19)

got it. And you know, when spoke about the last point as well, make sure it's only the parents who are co -sleeping. I know a lot of families So even if the baby's in a different room, the nanny tends to sleep in the same room. So if the baby wakes up, the nanny will wake up and feed the baby.

And then sometimes if the baby's not settling, what happens is they take the baby down to their bed and just sleep with the baby to kind of settle them down. So that is definitely not a good idea, right?

Rinie (14:49)

Not at all, not at all. So if you want to help have the nanny sleep in a different room with the baby, but the baby is in a crib and nanny's on her own bed, that is okay, And the same arrangement can apply to any other caregiver as well, but being in the same bed that is not okay. I would tell you especially not for a baby who's under the age of six months because under the age of six months the risk of SUID is the highest but even up till the age of one year they should not be bed sharing with anybody except the parents.

Sanchita (15:05)

 Yeah, all, yeah, this is, think, so important for all the parents to know that, because I know a lot of nannies do this. They'll just take the baby and say, OK, just to calm them down, let them sleep next to me. I know this happens a lot. So definitely keep an eye out for that and talk to your nanny.

I remember sending you a screenshot of Kourtney Kardashian, because she just had a baby, And she's all about co -sleeping. And I'm like, my god, like she's co -sleeping. Is it OK? And you were like, yeah, because she's doing it the right way. And I was like, OK. So what is the right way?

How to co-sleep safely?

Rinie (15:51)

I'm so glad that you're asking me about what is the right way of co -sleeping because there really are specific guidelines to ensure that you are co -sleeping safely. These guidelines are actually released by the La Leche League International and they are called the Safe Sleep 7. And that's something that I just want to quickly run through. And it does overlap with a lot of the five things that I just said.

the bed sharing should not happen with somebody who's smoking or somebody who's been drinking if you're bed sharing make sure that you do not swaddle your baby i know swaddling newborns is very helpful for them to get them to sleep well but if you are bed sharing with a newborn. Please do not swaddle them. I see so many parents who are swaddling their babies and sleeping right next to them. That is not safe.

If you are co -sleeping or you bed sharing with a newborn, you need to let their arms be open because they need to be able to remove anything that may accidentally cover their face. if you don't want to swaddle them, you don't want to cover them with your own adult blanket because that is also a suffocation hazard, all you got to do is get a sleep sack for them.

 

Sanchita (16:58)

But even at like one, two months, they can already be in like a sleep sack?

Rinie (17:02)

Absolutely. Most definitely you can have a baby in sleep sack from birth onwards. If you're not swaddling the baby but you still want to keep them covered and comfortable then you can use a sleep side from as soon as they're born.

Sanchita (17:15)

But isn't the swaddle about them feeling snug and in a sleep sack, they're kind of like all over the place. I know for safety is that, but is it still okay?

Rinie (17:23)

If you are bed sharing, then safety takes precedence. Your child will learn to sleep and kind of get over that moro reflex. Maybe you will have to resettle them a little bit more, but that's okay. Safety is most important. So instead of swaddling, just let them use a sleep sack instead.

Another thing that I want parents to look at is to evaluate the space of their bed. And make sure that there are no extra extra loose items on the bed. I want you to remove all pillows, all blankets. The bed should be absolutely clear I see parents do very often is that they tend to make a pillow fort around the bed. I don't know if you have seen that before but like let's say instead of making them sleep on the crib they make them sleep on the bed and then they take like eight or ten pillows and line in the entire bed with it and believe it or not that is a huge huge risk for the baby.

 

Simply for two reasons. Number one, the pillow itself is a suffocation hazard and number two, once your child is actively crawling or rolling, they can very easily fall off the bed and any bed nowadays is easily like three feet above the ground and a three feet fall can be a very major fall for a child.

So if you are getting the baby to sleep on the bed with you, I would say invest into bed rails. You get those like mesh bed rails with a metal frame around it. Invest in those because that is a much safer way. And if you don't want to get bed rails, then just make your child sleep on the crib. At least when they are not being actively supervised by you.

Sanchita (18:42)

And you know, I know the some of the cribs, have it where you can open one side. It kind of becomes an extension of the bed. Is that something that can work?

Rinie (19:06)

Absolutely. So those are called co -sleepers. Now with co -sleepers, the main thing is that one side that you just mentioned, it opens up into the bed. So it allows the parent to be able to reach the baby very quickly, quickly breastfeed them and put them back into the sleep space. And that can be an option that does work for a lot of families.

There are two things that I have seen in terms of drawbacks of co -sleepers as well. Number one, the baby ends up on your bed eventually right because they are just like why should I sleep in this like tiny two by two space when you've got this gigantic bed right next to me so then what ends up happening is that

The other thing is that the co -sleepers are generally very low in height right because if they want to be on the same level as your bed the the boundary around them is quite short. Let's say if your baby is a newborn or is barely able to sit up, it's okay. But once a baby is seven, eight months old, they can pull themselves up to sit. By the time they're nine or 10 months old, they can pull themselves up to stand. You can imagine how it could be a fall risk where if they're sleeping on the co -sleeper, you leave the room, they stand up and that is also something that is rather dangerous.

 

Sanchita (20:11)

This just reminded me of a memory of my kids. And I know I just need to ask you this because literally I, my kids have fallen off the crib. So when they were, I think six, seven months, when they learned to kind of push themselves up, I would keep them in the crib. then they were awake and they kind of just toppled over.

 

How do you keep them safe in a crib in that way?

Rinie (20:39)

The thing with the crib is that most cribs will come with either two or three levels and you need to move the base of the crib down based on your child's development. So assuming that your child's crib had three levels, the top level is something that you use for first four months when your child is practically just laying down.

They have not yet developed the ability to pull themselves up to sit. Some babies, they are actually able to get up as early as five months. So the very moment you see that your child is able to pull themselves up to into a sitting position or go into a cobra position that is when you need to move it to the middle level and the very moment you see that your child is kind of getting strong enough to pull themselves up to stand and I'm not talking like they have mastered that no the very moment they even start trying to pull themselves up so that they can get into a standing position you need to put the crib to the bottom most level.

And that is the way how you can use a crib safely.

Sanchita (21:38)

it's very clear that one of the main drawbacks of co -sleeping is the safety issue. But I really want to talk a little bit about sleep and not only sleep for babies, but sleep for parents.

I know a lot of parents, know, if they're breastfeeding, they get tired, co -sleeping and having to feed throughout the night and babies get really attached to that. So is that a drawback of co -sleeping?

Night Feeds While Cosleeping

Rinie (22:00)

See, the thing with co -sleeping and breastfeeding, that relationship, I think of it that there are two sides to every coin, somebody who's a big proponent of co -sleeping, they will tell you, It helps to strengthen that breastfeeding relationship and helps them to get a lot of calories at night time as well. And I think that is great, And those are real advantages of co -sleeping when you're breastfeeding.

But the other side of it is that every time your child needs to breastfeed at night and often they're not doing it just out of hunger there's a big strong sleep association that they have formed with breastfeeding that your child is just nursing throughout the night. Sure you get a great milk supply out of it but your sleep is compromised heavily and that is something that I see when I'm working with mummies, a lot of them, are like, I am feeding in the side lying position, my baby comes, latches, they leave, I don't even realize I'm getting great sleep, this is working for me. I'm like, great. But there is a huge number of mums they are like saying my baby comes, he feeds, he leaves, but I am fully awake after that and it just keeps happening every hour and I am not getting any sleep.

And I just want to tell mummies who are in this situation that please don't feel guilty about this because if you're feeling tired and exhausted by these repetitive night feasts, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not supposed to be able to enjoy every moment of breastfeeding, especially when you're really craving some good quality uninterrupted sleep.

And you know what in these scenarios one thing that I always tell parents is that either you can get your child to sleep on a different sleep surface and that itself will kind of address this whole thing about snacking throughout the night at the breast or you can consider sleep training.

And with sleep training, once your child learns how to sleep without the breast, they'll be able to sleep all night, do that on their own and you get the sleep you need, they get the sleep they need and you can just continue breastfeeding them during the day to get them the milk that they need for their healthy growth.

I do work with a lot of mummies and, they will come to me and then they will ask me that like, know what, I don't want to stop co -sleeping with my baby, but I also don't like being milk on tap throughout the night. Like that is too much for me. And I want my baby to be able to sleep either with the other parent or just not need the breast throughout the night. What can I do about it?

4 Cs of Night Weaning Gently

So there are four tips that I want to give you if you are co -sleeping but you want to start night weaning so I'll give you four C's to follow for this. It is something that I will teach all my clients.

#1 - Consistent Boundaries

The first one is consistent boundaries. Okay, and this is the most important thing for you to reduce night feeds is that you need to help your child understand that let's say you choose the boundary that between 11 pm and 6 am we are not going to feed because for that seven hours I want you to able to sleep at night. This boundary is something that can work very well with a baby who's seven, eight months old and above. And what you need to do is that during that period you stay very consistent with that, that we are not going to feed during this period. I will love you, I will cuddle you, I will sing to you, I will shush you, I can give you some water, but we are not going to breastfeed. And when you do this, sure, on the first night, second night, third night, your baby is going to give you hell but I need you to stay strong and stay consistent because the very moment you are inconsistent with this approach your baby gets confused and then once they get confused they're just like why is it that I was allowed to breastfeed at 2 am last night but I'm not today and then that will lead to a fresh round of tears and lots more protests so just stay consistent.

#2 - Caregiver Switch

The second C I'll give you is what I call a caregiver switch. So one thing with breastfeeding mummies, especially if your child is nursing throughout the night, is that you are in charge of all nights, every night. you are sleeping next to your baby, nobody else is kind of involved in your child's sleep equation and that is clearly weighing too heavily on you.

What you need to do is that you need to get other caregivers involved starting at the bedtime routine and taking over some part of the night so that your child can start associating things other than the breast. Like you know if you get daddy involved the whole option of breastfeeding goes away.

Like they say right like your baby is gonna be really mad because you know he's gonna find your dad's useless nipples and go like what are you doing here but then eventually dad is still dad. Dad loves your baby and he can hug him, cuddle him, rock him, soothe him in his own ways and get him to understand that breast is not the only way that you can fall asleep darling Okay so try the caregiver switch.

#3 - Comfort in other ways

The third one is comforting in other ways. at the end of the day for especially for older babies and toddlers, breast at night is mostly not out of hunger. They are not feeding because they are like super But if they are only using the breast for comfort, why don't we let our child learn other ways of comforting themselves?

Breast is not the only way, As I mentioned earlier, cuddle them, rock them, sing to them. There can be a particular song or like a humming sound that you make and they can start associating with sleep, So these are all the other ways that you can teach your child to comfort them. And when you start doing that, they will start dissociating breast with sleep.

#4 - Communicate with your baby

And last and a very important one and this is something you can start doing this for a baby as early as eight or nine months old. It definitely works a lot better with older babies and it is communicate. I'll teach you very simple way of communicating with them. For example. you are trying to wait night feeds and you are saying that I will still feed you but we'll feed in the day. So whatever name that you have for your breast like I have seen some moms call it nursies some call it milkies, some just say boo boo. So whatever it is that they use for milk, use that word and then say that in the morning. So you can just say milkies in the morning or milkies when the sun shines.

So you use a particular phrase and you try communicating this to your child before you make this change and while you're making this change so your child understands that it's not that milkies are gone forever, I will get my milkies but milkies will happen in the morning. And then when morning comes about then you can feed them and believe me children understand so much more than they can speak and so much more than we think they understand.

 

Use these four big steps of having consistent boundaries, having a caregiver switch, comforting in other ways, and communicating with your child to be able to wean night feeds while you're bed sharing.

Sanchita (29:00)

Wow, yeah, so it is possible. You know, I think a lot of people just feel like it's impossible. they can't handle the crying and all of that. But you know, if when you break it down and give these tips, you know, you can start implementing it. And I think the main thing you said is consistency, because also, even when it comes to meal times and changes, like, of course, if you are going to suddenly change the routine for your child or do something different, they're not going to happily be like, OK, cool. They are going to have a little bit of a rebuttal. They are going to be like, what's happening? But once you're consistent and you set those boundaries, that's where the difference comes in and where you see that change.

What I just want to tell parents that I'm sure you agree is that it's never too late. You can always make a change and it can always be positive. And we just grow as parents, as people, and the best we can do is educate ourselves and do our best. you know, especially if you're listening to this episode and you want to make that change, it's never too late.

What about people who have a baby and they're co -sleeping, or just at that stage where they're like, we want them to move to their own crib now, or their bed, or their own room. How would they even start with that? What is the right age and how to do it?

Transition baby out of colseeping into their own crib/room

Rinie (30:13)

The transitioning to your baby to their own sleep space there's no right age for it. You can do it as early as when they're born till any whenever you feel that like bed sharing is just no longer working for your family nobody's getting the sleep that they need everybody's feeling disturbed then you can transition your child to another sleep space.

The way to do it is that you can choose how you want to go about this transition, right?

There are two pathways that I can recommend for you. The first one is the gradual gentle pathway where you're slowly helping your child, understand and adjust to that sleep space. firstly, you have to make that space more familiar to your child. So children, they connect their sleep space through their senses, through the sense of touch, through the sense of smell.

So what you can do is that firstly, let's take their crib sheet and make sure that's a really good quality one, something similar to what you use on your own bed and make it smell like you. take that crib sheet, just put it inside your cupboard amongst your clothes or you sleep on it for like one or two days and it will pick up your scent. And then you use that crib sheet on their crib so that it starts to smell familiar and starts to smell the same that it does on your bed.

The other way for them to build connection with the crib is through play. With older babies you can even do role play with using some teddies, some dolls and putting those teddies and dolls into the crib for sleep time. Make a game out of it. Basically what you're trying to do is build positive connections with the crib.

You don't want that to be a place of fear The third thing that I will tell you to do is when you make this transition, be close by. So even if you're transitioning your child to a different room or the crib is right in your room be very close by to the child because they are very used to that close proximity with you so they should be able to sense you, hear you, smell you right next to them while they're in the crib and then just stay consistent with settling them in the crib okay and that's where the consistency element comes in as well let's say the first night that you put your baby in the crib

They woke up one time, you put them back in the crib. They woke up the second time, you put them back in the crib. By the third time, you are like, you know what? I can't do this anymore. I'm just going to bring the baby back into my bed. You see what happens is that this kind of reinforcement teaches the child that like, why is my parent bothering to put me in the crib? Why can't they just bring me into the bed the first time, you know, that I wake up? So then the acceptance for that crib kind of goes down because, that consistency is not there. But if you really commit to it you will see that increase in acceptance towards it.

And the second way that you can transition your baby to their own sleep space, whether it's a crib or there's a toddler bed depending on their age is sleep training.

Okay because I'll tell you the first thing that I mentioned it is a lot of hard work and it is difficult for parents to stay consistent with it because the transfers and everything get too much for them and the night weekings may or may not always reduce.

So if you are ready for your child to sleep in their own sleep space and you want them to sleep all night, consider sleep training. It is such an effective way of teaching your child how to sleep on their own so that when they are in the crib, you know, they kind of roll around, babble a little bit and you just go off to sleep and they sleep there all night. It does come with its own challenges as well in terms of how do you sleep train? What's the right method? How do you handle the tears and everything?

So both options are available depending on what feels right for your parenting style as well as what your sleep goal is. Choose the path to transition your baby to their own sleep space

Sanchita (33:50)

I really love this episode because it's not like we're saying you have to do this, you have to do that. It's more like here's a situation if this relates to you and what you feel comfortable with, here are the steps that you can take to make it work for you and your family. And I find this so enlightening. So thank you so much for that.